Boundaries

Boundaries

Boundaries is described as a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line; a borderline

So then boundaries are distinguished marks that separate one area from another. There are different types of boundaries eg; a physical boundary, like a wall or a fence and personal boundaries. 

Personal boundaries are the physical, emotional and mental limits we establish to protect ourselves from being violated or taken advantage of by others. 

This is why establishing proper boundaries are very important, by setting those personal boundaries we preserve our integrity, take responsibility for who you are, and are in control of our life.

I like to think of it as the invisible shield you put around yourself to let others know where you stand, what works for you and what doesn't. 

Unhealthy boundaries on the other hand is a total disregard for your own and others feelings, values , needs and wants. 

Signs of Healthy Boundaries

• Saying “No” without any guilt

• Saying “Yes” because you want to, and not out of obligation or to please others

• Knowing who you are , what you believe, what you enjoy

• Asking for what you need or what

• Behaving according to your own values and beliefs

Signs of unhealthy Boundaries

• Your feelings are being dismissed and criticized 

• Feeling responsible for others happiness

• Dis-empowerment. Allowing others to make decisions for you

• Being asked to justify your feelings.

• Being told how to feel.

How to set clear boundaries

• So it's time to set some boundaries and you may be wondering how to go about doing that, you can first tap into the innate wisdom within, feel when something is not aligned with your truth or beliefs, trust your body instincts.

• Release the judgement on yourself and the idea that others will judge or dismiss your boundaries. Understand that you are doing this for yourself and others. Know your worth.

• Take small steps confidently, let your “no“  be no without explanation, if you choose to explain so be it but you are not obligated to. 

•  Communicate your boundaries or expectations clearly, calmly, and consistently. Stick to the facts without over explaining, blaming, or becoming defensive.

• Be consistent, it helps others to know that you have established a boundary and you are upholding it.

• Self care-  you set boundaries because you love and care about yourself enough to preserve your sanity and space. You communicate self-respect by imposing boundaries on disrespectful behavior. We teach others how to treat us by showing them how we treat ourselves.

“ I believe in you and I love you, so please take care of yourselves and set some boundaries.”

Shakti Ananda